Welcome to The Grief Club.

It’s the club no one wants to join, yet sooner or later, we all find ourselves here, learning how to live with love that no longer has a place to land.

Grief can surface at any time, but it often feels especially heavy around the holidays. The season has a way of magnifying what’s missing. What once brought joy (family gatherings, favorite meals, familiar traditions) can now stir sadness, longing, or even guilt for feeling disconnected.

If this year feels different or difficult, please know you’re not alone. Whatever you’re feeling is valid. Grief is proof of love, and love deserves space to be felt.

As the holidays approach, it can help to bring intentionality to how you care for yourself through this season. There’s no guidebook for grief, but there are gentle practices that can help you navigate it with compassion and steadiness. The following tips can offer some guidance along the way.

Key Tips for Navigating the Holiday Season

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

You don’t need to put on a brave face or force cheerfulness. Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes, whether it's sadness, anger, gratitude, or even brief moments of joy.

Grief is not linear. You may notice moments of peace followed by sudden waves of pain. Both are normal. Our minds crave predictability, but grief moves at the pace of the heart, not the calendar.

Research in grief psychology shows that people naturally oscillate between moments of loss and moments of restoration—a rhythm known as the Dual Process Model of grief. It’s healthy to move in and out of your pain, rather than trying to stay in it (or out of it) all the time.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

Grief takes energy; emotional, physical, and mental. Offer yourself the same compassion you would extend to a dear friend. Rest when you need to. Cry when you must.

From a therapeutic lens, grief activates both the stress and attachment systems in the body. Rest and nourishment are a part of biological healing. And that healing takes time.

Honoring self-compassion can allow us to move away from self-judgment. The holiday season can be challenging enough as it is with travel, family dynamics, work-related stress, and finances. Grief adds a more complex layer to all of those categories. Providing compassion to yourself allows you to show up authentically and validate your needs.

3. Set Realistic Expectations and Boundaries

It’s okay to say no. You’re not obligated to attend every event, uphold every tradition, or match anyone else’s energy. Grief changes your capacity, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to adjust your plans in ways that support your well-being.

4. Finding Ways to Honor and Remember

The holidays can stir up both ache and tenderness. You don’t have to choose between remembering and moving forward.

You might find comfort in reshaping how you celebrate this year. That could mean:

Creating new, smaller traditions that honor your loved one—like baking their favorite dessert, lighting a candle, or volunteering in their memory.
Making gentle changes by watching a new movie, trying a different recipe, or simplifying your schedule to signal that it’s okay for things to look different now.
Planning ahead for how you’ll spend the day can also ease anxiety and restore a sense of control during a season that can feel unpredictable.

5. Care for Yourself Gently

Grief can be exhausting. Start with the basics:

Rest: Give your body time to recover.
Hydrate and nourish: Eat and drink what feels good and grounding.
Move and soothe: Take a walk, soak in a bath, read a book, or listen to music that calms you.

Lean on your support system such as trusted friends, family, or a therapist. You don’t have to go through this alone. And if you find that your grief feels overwhelming or isolating, reaching out for professional support can be a powerful act of self-care.

The Tasks of Mourning model by Worden reminds us that healing isn’t about “moving on,” but gradually finding ways to live with loss—integrating it into a new sense of self and life.

A Final Thought

Grief and joy can coexist. You may find moments of laughter alongside tears or light memories in the middle of ache. That doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten, it means you’re someone who cares. The holidays may never feel the same, but with gentleness, honesty, and care, they can still hold space for love, memory, and healing.

If this season feels heavy and you’re longing for a place to process, we’re here to hold that space with you.

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